Request for leave: a brief history of Empire

I ASK THAT YOU CONSIDER ME A WORTHY PERSON
TO WHOM TO GRANT LEAVE AT ULUCIUM
wrote the Thracian* soldier to his officer
in 174 AD. He didn’t want to be
in Britannia, land of pesky winds, barbarians and no Coliseum.
The answer is lost for posterity.

I ask that you consider me a worthy person
to whom to grant leave to remain in Britain,
wrote the Bulgarian migrant to the Home Office
in 2005 AD. She wanted to be
here, despite the pesky winds.

The barbarian behind the Sheffield desk
picked her nose, said “sod ‘er”
and stamped the standard answer
which is lost for posterity,
adding to the wretched mystery
of being imperial history’s fodder.